The feelings that arise when you are unemployed are normal yet sometimes we think it is only happening to us. There can be a wide range of feelings; shock, anger, sadness, confusion and we tend to beat ourselves up by criticizing our past decisions. When we talk with other people who are unemployed, or have been in the past, we soon recognize that the feelings we are experiencing are similar to others who have been, or are, unemployed. How we acknowledge and express these feelings is important to our self-esteem and confidence. The first step is accepting the situation and being kind to ourselves about it. It is important to talk with family and friends who are supportive and can take care of our feelings yet will still encourage us to stay positive and proactive. Also, be kind to yourself and remember your skills and value. Action is the best remedy, so organize your job search, take workshops/programs where professional employment counsellors/facilitators can assist you. Ask for help. Finally, reward yourself at the end of your job search week. You are worth it!

Janet Kimmel, Employment Consultant

I've heard that retirement is a wonderful time in our lives, and it brings freedom and independence. It is good when it is our choice. But when we do not choose it, and we find ourselves unemployed for another reason, it is not good. In our society, ones identity is often defined not by what kind of person we are, but by our occupational title. The emotional cycle we experience when we lose that has been compared to that of the loss of a loved one. We may feel shock, anger, denial, and sadness before we move on to acceptance. When a lack of sufficient finances accompanies the job loss, the depth of the emotional stress is even greater. It is important to know that having these feelings at this time is a normal part of the process and it is temporary. I have found that these six steps can make the transition back to work a successful one:

1. Allow yourself the time to accept the situation, and to grieve it for a short period of time. Do whatever you need to do to help yourself deal with it: scream, cry, and spend time with others or with just yourself.

2. Get on with it. Become accountable for your life and build momentum by creating a plan. Set clear, obtainable goals, and decide to take action every day towards the goals. Assign yourself at least one task a day that will take you closer to the end result. Do what works for you. Is it hard to get started? Can you think of a time you set a goal and accomplished it? Do you remember how you felt when you met the goal? Chances are you felt like a winner; excited about life. You can feel that way again.

3. Check your attitudes and perceptions. Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? In your conversations with others, and with yourself, do you say things like I'm too old or There are no jobs out there anyway and talk yourself out of taking action? There is suitable work for you, and you will find it. No, it is not easy in these economic times and competitive job market. But it will happen. I live and work in this community and I can say that people do find new jobs all the time. Today is Wednesday and three clients have called me this week to share their good news. Two happily reported that they have found great jobs, and a third said she is pretty sure she will be hired on completion of her training program. Consider incorporating a positive, trusting attitude into your self-talk and see the difference it makes.

4. Change something. Find a pleasant way to get daily exercise, outdoors if possible. Being close to nature in the fresh air lifts our mood. Take a risk and do something that is outside of your comfort zone. Meet new people. Help yourself and your community by volunteering, even for a couple of hours a month. No matter what type of work you are in, you're in the people business. Throughout our community, there are people who can help by referring to someone who may have a job lead, or simply by giving us emotional support. Spouses are not usually the best person to give support, although there are always exceptions to the rule! Why not try discussing your situation with a career professional or a friend?

Work through the fears. Think about them. Are they rational? It can be helpful to run through scenarios in your mind. Ask yourself "What is the worst thing that could happen if I make that phone call about a job?" If we fear rejection, we can ask ourselves if that is something we can cope with. We can, because a person at the other end of the telephone line who has never met you cannot reject you personally. Perhaps your call is an unpleasant intrusion on his or her busy day. Turn the question around to "What positive things might happen if I make the call?" You know the answer; you could get an appointment for an interview or at least a tip that will lead you to someone else who may hire you. Thinking about it this way helps to ease the fears and to clarify the intention of the actions we are about to take.

Finally, find ways to be light and kind to yourself during this time of unemployment. Consider these suggestions for steps to take, but remember to maintain a balance by enjoying life's small pleasures every day: family, friends, sports, or walks on the beach. Humour, too, is a big help. It makes us laugh and smile. Think about the impression you are giving to others, especially employers. Would you rather spend time with friendly, positive people or those who are not? Prospective employers are no different.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~ Martin Luther King

Moving from one job to another can be a frustrating process that often takes longer than imagined. Maintaining job search activities on an ongoing basis can be difficult to sustain. It's challenging to face the roller coaster of hope and rejection day after day and then wake up and do it all over again. And yet you have to.

There's no one solution to finding work. Different things work for different people. It continually fascinates me to hear of the many ways in which people obtain work. But by far, three common factors stand out the most in the success stories I hear of individuals finding work: attitude, persistence, and personal contact.

It is vital to maintain a positive attitude. I know how hard this can be, but you must, because attitude is everything. If you're down, others tend to feel down while they are in your presence. While it's great to express your fears and frustrations of job searching with friends, relatives and employment consultants, with potential employer contacts you need to demonstrate what you're capable of and show your self-esteem, confidence and attitude. You want them to know the kind of work you are looking for and show you have the initiative, energy and persistence to get it done.

I have heard numerous employers say the number one skill they look for is attitude. And if you haven't thought of it as a skill before, think again. We've all experienced a customer service person that made the difference by being friendly and helpful. We've all also experienced the opposite. Which do you prefer? Employers are well aware of the difference a friendly, helpful employee makes to their customers and to their team. Negative comments travel fast, so a positive attitude is one of your most employable skills.

So how do you keep your attitude in shape? There is, of course, no one answer. Find out what works for you. When you feel positive, notice your surroundings and what you were doing that put you in such a good space in the first place. Ask others what they do to keep their spirits up. Experiment. When I was unexpectedly laid off last year and experienced blue moments, at times wondering if I'd ever find work again, I made sure I changed my focus after a certain time frame of negativity. I made sure I left my home and got out. The library. Out for a cup of coffee. A walk. I walked a lot. But I did it intentionally, because it always lifted my spirits and I always felt better for having done it.

Remember what you like about your life. Find one thing. Even if it takes a while, stay with it until you think of at least one thing. Then challenge yourself to think of three.

Maintain structure. Set your alarm for your usual work time. Keep your routines. Get up, shower, and get dressed as if you're going to work. You never know when a job opportunity might present itself, or who you might run into and when. You need to be ready to talk job talk and present yourself as a person that would be a benefit for a company to hire.

Set daily goals (but give yourself the weekends off). Look through the yellow pages of the phone book. Network. Decide what companies you are going to call and why. Write a script first if it helps you feel more comfortable. Introduce yourself. Let people know what kind of work you're looking for. Let them know what skills you have that enable you to do this work well. Ask permission to call again and then do so. Remind people you want to work and why.

Visit an employment centre. Identify your skills. If you have already, add to them. Interviews are about sharing your skills and enthusiasm with employers and its important to know as many of them as possible. Once you identify your skills, you need to elaborate, so practice! Practice while doing the dishes. It'll make doing the dishes more interesting! It's not enough to say, I have good communication skills. You need to continue and say what you mean by this by giving an example (do you mean writing reports, facilitating groups, listening and advising). Keep learning. Take a computer course. There are short courses offered through employment centres. It helps your self-confidence, adds to your skill base and gets you out there. Keep an up-to-date resume with you at all times. Readiness impresses people. Be ready to hand it out at a moments notice.

One of the most asked questions in the world, by far is, "What do you do for a living?" which can be uncomfortable answering when youre not working. Rather than say, "I'm not" practice responding with what kind of work you are looking for and share your interests. To do so, you must clarify what kind of work you are looking for. It you are uncertain and need help with this, make an appointment with an employment consultant. To say, I'll do anything, makes it difficult for others to offer information and is, in my experience, generally not true. We all have some preferences. You'll be amazed how helpful people are when you are more specific. Once they know what you are looking for, it is now possible to make a connection. For example, if someone says to me, "I'm looking for a job, let me know if you hear of anything," it's pretty challenging to connect him or her to a particular area. I'm left wondering, what are they interested in? What locations are they looking for work in? However, if someone says, "I'm interested in working in the health industry as a Resident Care Attendant. I am certified from Malaspina University-College, have two years experience volunteering at Trillium Lodge and love assisting the elderly in maintaining their independence". Now that's something to work with! And you'll be thrilled with the information you receive back from people who know someone in the field, who have a suggestion to pass your way.

Make job searching a priority. Keep at it. Yes, finding work takes initiative, determination and hard work. But it's well worth the effort!